The Cinnamon Bun Book Store: Chapter 28
It was Hazel’s first full day as a thirty-year-old and she was running late. Alex had opened the shop this morning and Hazel wasn’t supposed to be in until noon, which was good considering she’d slept until ten this morning after her big surprise party last night, but she was still behind schedule. Mainly because she’d spent a lot of her morning, in between showering and drinking tea, picking up her phone and then putting it right back down.
No texts from Noah. No calls. And she hadn’t even summoned enough courage to talk to him at her party. If Noah planned on ending things between them, she didn’t want to have that conversation at her party. No one wanted to be dumped on their birthday.
Instead, she’d surrounded herself with her guests and made sure she was never alone with him.
Even when she caught Noah staring at her.
Even when he tried to offer her a ride home.
She didn’t want to hear Noah apologize on her birthday. She didn’t want to spend her party, which did, in the end, turn out to be lots of fun, hearing about how he’d never meant to hurt her and how things had been great while they lasted.
Because, apparently, even though Hazel was a full-grown, thirty-year-old who had finally accepted that she was sexy and fun, she was also a coward. And even though her friends all seemed to think Noah was in it for real, their opinions were not a substitute for hearing it from him. She’d been wrong once with this whole clue thing, she didn’t relish the idea of being wrong again. Not about this, not about Noah’s feelings for her.
No, she’d saved all that for today.
But she’d spent so much time thinking about it, and worrying about it, and deciding to just call him and then abruptly deciding never to speak to him again, she was now late for work.
‘Sorry, Alex! I’m here.’ She hurried through the door and found her second in command behind the counter.
‘Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered.’
‘I said I would be in at twelve and it’s nearly half past.’
‘Hazel, it’s fine. I told you, you didn’t even have to come in today.’
She knew that. Her employees were great. But if she had stayed home she only would have had longer to stew in her current discomfort over the Noah situation and she really didn’t need any more of that.
She paused at the counter, leaning against it with her hip, letting the familiarity of the bookstore seep into her. It was quiet this afternoon, but several customers contentedly browsed the shelves. The front table was decked out in the latest fall reads and Lyndsay had hung the cute fall banners with colorful leaves and sparkly cinnamon buns that Hazel found on Etsy around the shop. The smell of cinnamon sugar lingered in the air. It never quite left, even when they weren’t selling the baked goodies, like the scent had seeped into the walls themselves. The low, fall sun streaked in through the front window and Casper, here for a visit, was napping in a sunbeam.
Alex smiled at her from their place at the register.
And Hazel remembered that she loved it here.
This was her place and she loved it.
And it was fine that she had never sowed any wild oats or ever had any wild oats to begin with. She was thirty years old and she knew who she was. Hazel Kelly, bookstore manager, tea drinker, book reader, blanket snuggler, indoor cat. And she was also fun and flirty and sexy if she wanted to be. And sometimes she might get bored or antsy and that was fine, too, but Hazel liked her place here. She was allowed to be content. She was allowed to not want anything more than this.
Because what more did one need besides good friends, good books, and the occasional cinnamon bun?
A certain auburn-haired fisherman came to mind but Hazel gently pushed that thought aside. She’d deal with it later. Or never. She still hadn’t decided.
‘Did you have a fun night?’ Alex asked.
‘I did actually.’
‘You sound surprised.’
‘I was.’ Hazel smiled.
‘Well, I had fun, too.’ Alex lifted their eyebrows mischievously. ‘Me and Joe…’
‘No way!’
Alex’s smile grew. They’d been lusting after Joe from The Pumpkin Spice Café for months.
‘Yes, way.’
‘It was a good party.’ And it was. Other than avoiding Noah at all costs, Hazel had danced and laughed and basked in the love of her family and friends. In the end she was glad her dad had ambushed her and she even had to admit that she was glad for his summer of clues. She had, after all, had an amazing last two months of her twenties.
If nothing else came of it, at least she had that.
‘Well, I’m here now,’ she said, patting the counter. ‘Let me just put my things down and you can go on break.’ She hustled to the back office to drop off her coat and purse, firing off a quick text to Annie who had rather suspiciously disappeared right around the same time that Mac had last night. So either they’d hooked up or one of them had been murdered. Hazel figured it could have gone either way.
The answer was immediate. Annie was never far from her phone.
Hazel laughed to herself, tossing purse, phone, and coat onto the couch. Whatever was going on between her best friend and the bartender was not something she had time to dig into right now.
She looked up and found a precarious stack of books on her desk. What on earth was this? Alex would never leave books in here like this. Certainly not piled up all willy-nilly and about to tip over. Hazel frowned.
‘Hey, Alex,’ she called, sticking her head out of the office door. ‘What is this pile of books?’
‘Oh, those were dropped off for you this morning,’ Alex called back.
‘By who?’
‘Uh … not really…’ Alex’s voice faded away. ‘Got a customer!’
Hmm. She popped back in the office and eyed the stack. They were a mix of genres and sizes all piled up in the center of her desk. She took the first one off the pile.
There was a dog-eared page.
Her heartbeat immediately ratcheted up.
She opened the book and found a highlighted line.
I met a girl this summer.
Innocuous. Innocent. And yet…
She grabbed the next book.
The kiss was incendiary. He could have sworn his entire body had gone up in flames.
A bit over the top but Hazel knew the feeling.
She grabbed another, working her way down the pile. Each book had a marked page and a highlighted line. Each book set her heart beating faster. This couldn’t be…
Attraction: noun: the action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something.
She put down the dictionary and took the next book. A picture book.
‘Will you be my best friend?’ the fox asked the rabbit.
‘But we’re so different,’ said the rabbit.
‘That’s why I like you.’
A scientific journal:
According to a team of scientists led by Dr. Monica Hunter at Yale, romantic love can be broken down into three categories: lust, attraction, and attachment.
The science-fiction novel that had been flying off the shelves:
She brought him back to life, reconstructed him into a better version than the original. And he felt alive. He was alive. He was real.
The latest in the fantasy series Noah had been reading on the boat:
Fierce sea birds swooped from the sky, but he held them back. Anything to protect the princess.
She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her at that. The next book was small and worn; the perfect size to smuggle in a purse. She didn’t know when her hands had started to shake.
He dipped his head between her thighs and he found heaven.
Heat flared in Hazel’s cheeks as she hastily closed that one, not at all surprised to find a half-naked pirate on the front.
The YA novel that was a surprise bestseller last year was next.
‘You’re all I think about. All I want. Me and you until the end.’
Oh, God. This was…
The second to last book. Another romance. Of course.
He realized he loved her and that he probably had all along. But it had snuck up on him somehow even though she’d been perfect from the start.
Hazel gripped the book so hard, the pages crinkled beneath her fingers.
This one had a note at the bottom of the page. Not a note, really. Just a few words.
It’s me this time,
~Noah.
The last book wasn’t a book at all but a weekly planner. Today’s date was circled and in the box someone had penciled in:
Meet me by the water. Tonight. 8:00.
Well, holy shit.
The grand finale.
Noah had paced back and forth in the sand so many times, he’d created a small trench. Maybe he could bury himself in it if Hazel didn’t show up. That would be a good use of his current resources.
No, this was fine. He was fine. Even if Hazel didn’t want him. He’d be … okay. Well, he’d be pretty damn devastated because he definitely loved this girl and he’d never loved anyone before and he was pretty sure it would hurt like a bitch to have her reject him, but he’d survive. Probably.
He glanced up at the little shacks on the beach. With some help from Cliff, he’d managed to get the electricity up to code and he’d strung white twinkle lights from each one. Even the one on the end that was basically falling over at this point had a string of white bulbs. That one was definitely going to take more work than the others, but he’d spoken to Mayor Kelly last night when he’d momentarily lost track of Hazel and the man had assured him that there was a way forward.
He hadn’t been super clear on what that was, but Pete told him he was sure they’d figure it all out. The important thing was Noah had told him his plan and the mayor had liked it.
And Noah was even considering asking his dad for some advice on the whole thing while he was home which was pretty big for him. Like really big.
Movement on the path to the beach caught his eye and Noah froze in his trench. Until he remembered how not a path the path was and then he hurried to help Hazel down.
‘Hey, Noah,’ she said when he got close and his heart stuttered in his chest. She was so damn beautiful, even in the dark, just the shape of her was beautiful. Her curls were loose around her face tonight and a hesitant smile graced her lips.
‘Hey.’ He really needed to get better at this again and fast. ‘Let me help you. It’s kind of treacherous.’
She took his hand and he led her down the jagged pavement to the sand. He wanted to hold onto her but he wasn’t sure if he should so he didn’t pull her back when she untangled her fingers from his. She was looking at the houses and he was looking at her.
‘I talked to your dad,’ he blurted out and she turned toward him, the lights from the houses reflected in her glasses. He wished he could see her better. Why had he chosen this spot? The wind had picked up and Hazel pulled her cardigan further around her and Noah felt his plan rapidly unraveling.
‘About the houses and he thinks we can make it work.’
‘That’s great, Noah—’
‘I talked to my dad, too. To my whole family actually and I think maybe they’ve forgiven me and I’m going to go home and help out while my sister is on bed rest but then I’m coming back. I was always going to come back for you, Haze. I should have said that … I should have said a lot of things. Oh, and you’re invited for Thanksgiving … I mean if you want to … I mean if we…’
He shook his head, trying to straighten out his racing thoughts. ‘I think we should date. I mean, for real, like not for clues or anything. I just … I know I’m a little bit younger than you, but I don’t think that matters and I just think we’re good together…’
‘Noah, stop.’
He blinked, Hazel coming back into focus. The wind tugged at her hair and the ends of her sweater. She had her arms wrapped around herself. She was cold. He should get her inside, make her some tea, tuck her in his bed, never let her go.
‘What are you doing?’ Her question broke through his fevered thoughts.
‘Uh…’ What was he doing? Trying to profess his love for her and apparently screwing it up?
‘Why are you still trying to convince me that you’re worth it?’
‘I…’ Noah swallowed hard. Was that what he was doing? ‘I just wanted you to know, I’m working on things … on myself. I want to be … good for you.’
She’d stepped closer somehow without him noticing, probably because his brain was spinning in circles and had completely abandoned him on this cold, windy beach.
‘Noah.’
‘Yeah?’
‘You brought me a giant hat and bug spray.’
‘Well, that was just good sense.’
‘You won me a giant stuffed penguin.’
What was she doing? ‘I mean, anyone would have done that.’
‘You showed me I was beautiful and sexy, not to mention, you literally saved my life.’
‘Hazel…’
‘Noah.’ Her voice was serious, stern, like she was not to be argued with right now. ‘You have shown me more care and thought than anyone I’ve been with before. You are good for me.’
He shook his head. ‘I was just giving you everything you deserved.’
‘You left me secret book messages.’ Her lips had tipped up in the corner and he wanted to trace the shape with his tongue. He wanted to grab her and hold her, wanted to bury his face in her hair and breathe her in, but this was too important, these words were too important.
‘Well, the second time, I did yeah. I’m sorry…’
‘Noah.’
‘Yeah?’
‘I’m in love with you.’
‘Oh.’ The sound came out of him like he’d been punched in the gut, a gasp, a puff of air, a choked surprised sound. Hazel looked up at him with wide eyes, that small crease between her brows. She had something clutched to her chest. A folder? He didn’t care. He only cared about her words.
He took her face in his hand, his thumb sweeping across her cheek and his forehead pressed to hers. ‘Thank God.’
She huffed a laugh, the sound small and sweet.
‘I love you, too, Haze.’
‘You do?’
‘Hell, yeah. Of course I do. I have for so long, Hazel, I don’t even know when it started. I was prepared to read every damn book in that bookstore just to spend more time with you.’
She smiled, slow and mischievous before she captured his mouth with hers. He grabbed her then, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her clear off the sand. She squeaked in surprise and he licked the sound from her lips.
‘Wait!’ she said. ‘I brought you something. We’re crinkling it.’
He reluctantly put her down and she thrust the folder she was holding toward him. ‘Here.’
‘Um… Thank you.’
Hazel sighed in exasperation. ‘You didn’t even open it.’
He opened the folder, squinting in the dark.
‘It’s everything you need to fill out and file with the town and the state. I think we can by-pass a realtor and do a direct sale between you and the town but you’ll need to contact your bank and I don’t think it would be a bad idea to hire a contractor and definitely an architect for the structural assessments. Obviously, before we put this up for rent they would need to be inspected…’
‘Haze.’
‘Yeah?’ She stopped, blinking up at him.
‘Thank you.’
She beamed. ‘You’re welcome. But I want you to know I don’t really care about these houses.’
‘For someone who doesn’t care, you sure did a lot of research.’
‘No, I just meant that I don’t care if you do this or you do fishing tours or bartend at Mac’s or do whatever other plans you might come up with. You don’t have to prove anything to me, Noah.’
He swallowed the unexpected emotion from his throat.
‘Oh.’
She moved closer and leaned up on her tip toes. She planted a kiss on the tip of his nose. ‘Yeah, oh. And I would love to come to Thanksgiving.’
Noah grinned. ‘My sisters are going to lose their minds.’
Hazel laughed. ‘Can’t wait.’
‘Let’s go inside.’
‘Yes, please.’
She took his hand and he led her to the house. He’d lit it up like a gift for her. Like he needed proof that he was worth it, like evidence that he was serious enough for Hazel, but she hadn’t needed it at all. She’d just needed him.
He probably should have guessed that.
He didn’t care if Hazel ditched the bookstore tomorrow and wanted to leave town and become a circus performer. She could shave her head or decide she wanted to take up rock climbing, and he’d be on board. Hazel wasn’t her job or her curls or her cute button-up blouses. She was the tart spark of blueberries on his tongue, she was salt air and rainy days, she was the perfect book. She was kisses and secret smiles. She was everything. He just needed her.
And the fact that she felt the same about him was enough to make him feel like he could do anything. Like his feet didn’t even touch the sand anymore. He floated after her into his half-finished project and for the first time in a long time, he felt confident. He felt like enough.
She opened the door and they tumbled inside away from the cold wind and the crashing waves. She didn’t let him catch his breath before pressing him against the closed door. Her arms were around his neck, her lips on his.
‘I love you,’ she murmured and he couldn’t help smiling against her mouth, happiness bursting bright and sharp in his chest.
‘I love you too, Hazel Kelly.’
She made a happy little sigh as he pulled her closer against him and every happily ever after he’d ever read finally made sense. This was it.
Happy.
Forever.
He’d make sure of it.