Chapter 80
Lark was seated next to Ollie and Santiago on the jet heading home to Dallas.
Today was going to be hell. There was no other way to describe what she knew they were all going through. Saying last goodbyes to Nana Prue was going to be devastating. Not knowing what was happening with Gracie every second they were away was making it worse.
She was numb. At this current moment, despite everyone else's heightened emotions, she was certain her body no longer produced tears. Watching the medical staff load Max into a chopper on the roof of the hospital, she'd felt cold when she'd been unable to sympathize with his complaints and barely grazed his cheek in a goodbye peck. When her mother kissed Gracie's forehead and told her softly, they would be back soon, she could have been watching strangers interact. When her father fell to his knees inside the hangar where the private jet was housed, she felt devoid of emotion and while her mother and sister rushed to hold him, she remained focused on the casket, her chin uplifted and not a tear in sight. He was now seated up front, his best friends and wife constantly checking in on him and she was near the back of the plane away from the raw emotions.
She felt Heriberto shift on the aisle seat opposite her and listened without understanding as he spoke with his brother in Spanish. Her eyes fixed to the front of the plane wondering whether her parents were disappointed in her for avoiding them, but she felt she possessed nothing else to give.
She looked up in surprise when Ollie and Santiago both rose and moved out of their seats and took the spaces on Heriberto's side of the plane and the other man came and sat with her.
"It is normal," he said quietly as he took the seat beside her.
"What is?"
"What you're feeling."
She gave him a sideways glance, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Your family, all of them, have noticed you've shut off. They're worried for you. There was a large discussion earlier about how you woke up this morning a different person. Your mother noticed it first. Santiago and I were part of the conversation and we've reassured them all, this is normal." "How would you know?"
"You are talking about two men who grew up in a world where trauma, violence and the constant overstimulation of familial demands can make it hard to do anything but merely survive. Right now, you are in survival mode. We have been there, where you are."
"I am?" she turned to face him completely.
"You are. You haven't processed anything yet Lark." He lifted her hand between his and held it. "Your beloved grandmother has passed away. The man you're in love with almost died. Your sister is in a coma. Her father died right in front of you. The man you lived with for a year and thought you were going to marry caused much of this and instead of being able to confront him, which we," he flicked a finger between himself and the man in the opposite aisle, "felt strongly you should have been permitted to do but were vetoed, he died too soon. You are running on what is likely less than ten cumulative hours of sleep over a five-day period. Right now, your brain is telling you to simply get through this and you can deal with the rest tomorrow." He paused, "tomorrow never comes, Lark."
"I feel all cried out." She exhaled slowly.
"Which makes sense. I have seen how hard you have cried the day all of this happened, when it still shocking and raw. Yet, for all the crying, you haven't really had time to sit and process everything which has happened. You know, the Villeneuve group all have talked to their therapists."
"I have a therapist and she and I have chatted, but I don't need extra sessions." She shook her head refusing to do so."
Max already wants me to start couples therapy with him, so we start our future and marriage off on a healthy foundation. I think it will be more than enough therapy for my brain to take."
"You have never been one to dump all your emotions out, have you Lark?" Heriberto gave a chuckle as he played with her fingers. "You keep things close to your chest. You're cool, calm, and collected. You've needed to be because your friends are the emotional equivalents of napalm. It's what makes you a good lawyer."
"Am I broken?"
"No. See," he twiddled her fingers, "when you are constantly surrounded by chaos and extreme situations, when the world gets louder, you get quiet. Santiago and I, we both do the same. Later, when you're alone with your thoughts, after you've enjoyed a good amount of sleep, you will work through whatever it is you're feeling. Whether you decide to beat the s**t out of someone, f**k like an animal or go into a courtroom and obliterate an opponent coldly and meticulously, you will work through it. You'll cry again. I'm sure of it. Right now, though, you're surviving because your body knows, if one more thing happens and you're already crying, you might not stop.'
"Have you ever felt you couldn't stop crying? Like it was too much."
"Yes."
"What did you do?"
"I bought a ranch." He chuckled draping an arm over her shoulder and letting her rest her head on his. "I put animals on it which needed my care, and it took the focus off feeling dead inside and little by little I began to feel alive again."
"I don't feel dead, but I do feel numb." She admitted quietly. "Heriberto, why am I so comfortable with you?"
"We are soul mates." He said, laughing when she punched him in the gut without hurting him at all. "Very funny."
"I think it is a matter we are remarkably similar, Lark. I bet right now, if Levi Junior was on this plane though, he'd be texting Maximilian how we're cuddling."
"Max would get it." She looked up at him. "Don't tell him I told you, but he likes you."
"I think I would like him more if he wasn't manipulative with you."
Heriberto's words caught her off guard.
"You think he manipulates me?"
"I think the entire Villeneuve family manipulates the world and treats people as the pawns in their life games of chess. So long as they become the overall winners of the game, it doesn't matter to them how they treat the players on the board," he looked to where Mori, Fallon and Ronnie were huddled together. "I will admit, what the triplets do to Fallon is a far cry worse than what Olivia and Max do to you and Johan, but it is manipulative nonetheless."
"What do they do to her?" she asked studying her sister.
"They are a whirlpool of quicksand, and they treat her like the life saving vine which they can use to climb out of their quagmire. The more they drag their bodies up the vine, the more sludge they leave behind and it is dragging her down. Your sister should have done as you did and went to college out of state to break their hold on her. Did you know for example, when LJ, recently got arrested for possible grand theft of a vehicle, which he did steal by the way, he used your sister as his alibi?"
"What?"
"Mm. You were still living in Houston, but Fallon gave a false statement to police saying she and LJ were up all night studying for a test and he never left her for a moment."
"Why would she lie?"
"Why do you think?" he returned the question.
She thought about it for a moment and then sighed, "family. We're family and I know we're not blood related but we're family nonetheless and we are known to do stupid s**t for one another. I know I have." "Me too," he whispered with a laugh. "For my family I would beg, steal, lie, cheat, murder and maim. However, never would I ask my family to put themselves and their lives at risk for me. Would they do it regardless? Yes. Would I trap them in it? No. LJ gave her name as his alibi and put her in a bad spot. What could she do? Your father found out this week because Olivier asked us to prepare a file on the boy to see the full extent of the s**t he's been pulling. I think if your father wasn't already overwhelmed with everything going on, LJ would have been on the receiving end of a smackdown from your dad." "LJ is a twat." Lark whispered quietly feeling all kinds of anger.
"He sure is. He's modeled after someone. Can you guess who?"
"Very funny, Heriberto." She rolled her eyes and lifted her head off his shoulder to glare at him.
"Lark, if you are going to marry Max Villeneuve, you need to remove the blinders you wear. Yes, he will treat you well and he will love you but, I will say the same thing to you that I said to my brother earlier this week."
"Go on."
"Loving someone doesn't mean you give them absolute power over you. Max is already buying your house, naming your children, planning your lives together without any input from you. I know, for example, he is planning to insist you be married before the sutures on his chest are even dissolved. He is manipulating you with his health scare to do exactly as he wishes because he knows you are scared to lose him. Ten years from now, you will be a Nana Prue."
"What?" she looked to him in confusion.
"In a career and life, you never once planned for yourself because the man in your life is running the show. She and I had a good talk you know, one evening after you and Max went to bed. She told me how her ex-husband controlled everything and framed it under the guise of love. She loved him completely and therefore when he would push her outside of her comfort zone to do things, she wasn't keen on, such as becoming a judge, she went with it because she thought he was pushing her out of a desire for her to be her best version sion of herself. Instead, he was creating his own ideal. She told me meeting up with her ex this week reminded her of the good, but it also brought a lot of the bad to the forefront and she remembered despite the very passionate life they had, how easy it was for him to manipulate her emotionally. She was immensely proud of being able to sleep with him once and then leave him in the hotel room despite him telling her he wanted her to move back in with him. She felt she reclaimed her power. Her words, not mine."
"She told you!"
"Yes." He gave a wide smile. "I am not suggesting you should not marry Max. I don't think you're making a mistake marrying who you love. I am telling you, on behalf of the very kind and wonderful woman we are about to send off today, one I only knew for a very short time yet who impacted me for a lifetime," he brushed a single tear off her cheek, "do not lose all you gained in your life away from the Villeneuve family after only a few short weeks back in their quagmire. Do not settle and do not let him manipulate you out of your own hopes and dreams. Lark Hoffman, you don't need your life dictated to you. Seize it yourself."