The Billionaire Playboy's Regret (Lark and Max)

Lark crawled into her bed at home after Max dropped her off with a gentle kiss to her cheek and a

promise to call her later wondering what the hell was happening. She pulled her pillow over her head and screamed into it furiously.

"That bad, huh?"

She peered out from under the pillow to look at her grandmother leaning against the doorframe and groaned. "Why now?"

"If you're talking about Max maybe because it is the right time."

"Nana," she rolled her eyes, "he has the nerve to tell me he f***s around because he's been trying to use s*x with other women as a means to get over me."

"Brilliant like his father and dumb as every other man on the planet," Nana Prue shrugged as she sat on the edge of the bed. "if I got a nickel for every time a man did something stupid involving his pecker in the name of emotional dysregulation, I could buy my own island in the Caribbean."

She hugged her pillow to her chest. "Half of me still hates him. Every time I look at him, I am the seventeen-year-old girl on a rooftop waiting for him to spare me a moment of his time and realizing he didn't consider me worthy. It broke my heart Nana to realize it didn't matter how I wanted it or how! desperately needed him to see me for more than a sidekick to his antics, he never would. I needed to walk away because I was wasting my time on a dream which was never going to happen. I hated him because it was so clear he didn't value me the way I valued him, even as a friend. The other half of me, after spending time with him and Ollie last night and then hiking with him this morning misses him so much, I ache with it. I don't understand."

"I understand your confusion love." Her nana patted her hand softly. "But the heart wants what it wants Lark."

"Why though? How? How can I love and hate a person so equally?"

"Did I ever tell you the story of me and your grandfather?"

Lark sat up and shook her head. "No."

"Well, I met him in high school. We were sweethearts and to me he hung the sun, the moon, and every star in between. I loved him with my entire being." She gave a single shake of her head, "but there were times when we were married, I would look at him and wonder what the f**k I was doing with a man who made me so angry simply from the way he wiped his lips with a napkin I would want to bludgeon him to death with a baguette."

Lark giggled at her blunt cursed words, "Nana!"

"No seriously Lark, next time you see him for lunch or whatever, watch the way he pretentiously dabs the corners of his lips but misses the rest of his mouth. He will leave a glob of food stuck to his f*****g upper lip but touch the corners like they're delicate. Don't get me started on his bathroom routine or when he started going for plastic surgery all in the name of his image."

"Was he always like this?"

"No. He got into real estate right out of college with his best friend. Image and appearance became everything to him. I never wanted to be a judge," Nana Prue said quietly. "He pushed me into it. I was happy working at the firm I was at, but he wanted the prestige which came with having a wife on the bench. He kept saying it was important we kept pushing each other to do better and be more and I always was left wondering why I wasn't enough as I was." She took a breath, "but for all of it, I loved him. I never saw myself with anyone but him. I admit there were days I wanted to strangle him for leaving a toilet seat up, but I loved him. Then he cheated."

"What?" Lark was stunned. It dawned on her suddenly the reason her father's relationship with her grandfather was strained because her dad took sides. She waited impatiently for the rest of the story. "A drunken one-night stand, he confessed immediately and swore it meant nothing according to him and he begged me to forgive him. I couldn't though. Too much time practicing family law taught me once a cheater always a cheater. At the time I was convinced if I gave him an inch and stayed, he would stray again. There are rare people who can change but on the whole, most don't. The thing is, I still loved him. It hurt like hell, but he broke my trust and despite how deeply I loved him, I couldn't go back."

"I'm sorry you went through that," Lark whispered sadly.

"The thing is Lark he remains the greatest love of my life. Despite the one-night stand, the need to be seen, the pretentious behavior, there isn't a day which goes by I don't think of him in one form or another. I refused to ever love another man after him because I knew none would compare and I never, ever want to give someone else such total control over my heart again. I have from the day I walked out until today put me first and every man I meet at the bottom of my priority list.

"But you've dated. Has there never been anyone you thought you could open up to?"

"Sure, but inevitably they would say or do something irritating and I would immediately think of the way your grandfather dabs his f*****g lips." Nana Prue's tone was sharp.

Lark sat there considering her grandmother's words and then quietly questioned "what does any of this have to do with me and Max?""

"Everything and nothing, depending on how you want to take it. Everything if you consider one man ruined my ability to deeply love another and I have spent nearly four decades holding every person I'm with to outrageous standards and making them pay for the sins of their predecessors. You knew you would never love anyone the way you love Max and it's why you settled for a man who didn't make you feel everything as passionately, love and hate, the way you did him." Nana squeezed her hand, "it means nothing at all if you don't believe there is a modicum of truth to Max being the greatest love of your life.'

"And if he is?" She studied their joined hands, noting for the first time how Nana's skin aged since the last time she was home.

"Then you need to decide if you are willing to spend the rest of your life wondering what if or if you're going to give it a try." "Do you regret not giving Granddad a second chance after he cheated?"

"I have led an amazing life, Lark. I have loved. I have raised my family. I have made incredible friends. I have not felt lonely for many, many years."

"But?"

"It took him eight years before he accepted that I wasn't coming back. He didn't date. He swears he never slept with anyone in all those eight years. I was stubborn and refused to give in. Then he met his second wife and moved on. I received eight years of loyalty from a man I owed nothing to and because he made one horrible mistake, I let my anger and pride rule my heart. He didn't have an affair or have multiple lovers but to me one violation destroyed everything. While I am confident, I wouldn't do anything different even today, I regret not listening. Things in life often don't become clear until you're older. You look back and think 'oh, that's what that meant' and perspective changes. I was so caught up in all the couples coming through my chambers, hearing their stories of betrayal. I never stopped to listen to our story. To this day I don't know why he did what he did, and this Lark is my regret. Maybe things would have stayed the same but maybe they wouldn't have. All I know is, I walked away without listening."

"Do you think I should listen to Douglas?"

"You gave him five on the lawn and he blew it. He also screwed her more than once. He's a sniveling weasel. If you listen to him, I'm dragging you on my next cruise and taking your phone away. We will find you a nice sugar daddy before I let you go back to him."

She couldn't help the bubble of laughter erupting from her chest at her grandmother's words.

Nana Prue kissed Lark's forehead, "you and Max have both got time apart to discover who you are. Don't waste an opportunity to get to listen to his side of what happened back then."

"But he's such a slut," she groaned and flopped down on the pillows again.

"Can't argue facts," Nana shrugged, "but I bet I experienced more one-night stands in the last year than he did."

Lark was wide eyed as her grandmother rose from the bed. "No way."

"I went on eleven cruises in the last twelve months. Seven to ten days at sea each. At least two to three different lovers on each of them. Some were good, others were awful, and none were ever able to do with their tongues what your grandfather did." She laughed at Lark's disgusted gasp, "let's just say I get where the boy is coming from when you're chasing a high only one other person can give you."

"Nana if Grandad asked you out now, after all this time, now he's divorced again, would you go?" "Nah. I'd be too worried I would accidentally yank his toupee off while he was on his knees. Not worth the stress of it." She was chortling as she left the room and Lark couldn't help her own giggles.

As she lay there contemplating her conversation with her grandmother, she couldn't help but wonder what she herself didn't hear when she was younger simply because she hadn't listened.