Denying The Alpha

FAITH

POV.

I didn't hurt anymore. In fact, I felt warm, cozy and happy. Oh my goddess I finally died.

I was sad and happy about this new revelation.

I am sad because I would no longer be bringing my beautiful pup into this world, and I would miss Kyle with every fibre of my being. My parents would be devastated and my body may never get to go home to them.

But I was happy because it didn't smell so bad that it made me want to vomit 24/7. My skin wasn't burning in fiery pain, I didn't itch in places I couldn't scratch and I wasn't going to have to go all over myself anymore. It was a wonder it took me this long to die. I suspected sepsis honestly. All those sores raw and exposed like that getting so infected.

"It's too bright" I groaned and slammed my eyes back closed.

I didn't expect it at first, then again I had spent goddess knows how long kept in the dark. But still, I didn't think such things would bother a dead person.

"Oh, my goddess Faith you're awake." Kyle's voice sang out with glee.

My heart thudded. Did Kyle die too? Oh please goddess don't tell me he died trying to save me or something stupid. He should get to live.

You're not dead, and neither is Kyle. Open your eyes. Sapphire rolled her eyes at me.

Oh, my goddess sapphire your back. I had never been happier to hear her voice. I started to believe I had lost her forever.

You can't get rid of me that easily. She sassed affectionately...

"I'll turn all the lights off." I felt him move away and the loss of him immediately made me worry.

"Kyle?" I stammered. Was it really him?

Yes, it is. Sapphire rolled her eyes again.

"I'm home?" I sobbed aloud.

"Yes, baby you're home." I felt the bed dip beside me and his arm wrap around me. I snuggled into his chest and revelled in his scent.

I really was home.

"I'm so glad you're finally awake." Kyle kissed my head and snuggled in closer.

"Your family has been here around the clock. They will be so disappointed they weren't here when you woke up. But I sent them all off for food about an hour ago. Can't say I'm disappointed tho. I'm happy to get you all to myself at least for a little bit." He kissed my hair every few words. Almost like he couldn't help himself.

I loved it.

"I'm not in any pain?" I said. I didn't know what else to say. I had become accustomed to the constant agony that it was strange to me that it was gone.

"Oh, baby you don't know how happy I am to hear that." His voice broke a little as he cooed.

"Are you crying?" I teased.

"Honestly I have cried so much lately I'm not sure I'm capable of it anymore." He chuckled darkly.

My hand went down to my belly, praying to find a little bump.

I'm sorry Faith. Sapphires says with profound sorrow.

My heart clenches and I feel Kyle stiffen beside me.

"The babies gone isn't it?" I choked up.

"I'm so sorry" I wept.

"Oh shhh. Faith why are you sorry? It's not your fault." Kyle coddled me.

"I wasn't strong enough. I tried to be." I bawled. All that I endured was for my baby. How could I not save them?

"It's not your fault. Ingrid and the Smith brothers are the only ones to blame." He crooned.

"I wish I never woke up." I sobbed hard into Kyle's chest as I clutched at him.

It's funny how much you can love someone you never met. That baby saved me in so many ways and I couldn't do that for him or her in return.

"Don't say that Faith. You have a Family who loves you. A mate who would die without you. And a pack who needs you." His voice was thick with emotion as he clutched and squeezed me desperately to him. Like he was afraid that I would just disappear again. "Did you at least kill her?" I say venomously.

"Declan did." He said with an air of disappointment. I knew that he was only disappointed because he hadn't been the one to kill her himself.

"What?" I was shocked. They were working together. Why would he kill her?

"Okay tell me everything." I finally opened my eyes. It was uncomfortable at first, but that was only a small price to pay for the glorious view that was Kyle.

Truthfully I wasn't sure I was ready to hear it all. But my heart hurt so much right now. I wanted to push the loss out of my mind for the moment. I would break down and cry all my tears for my baby when I was alone. When no one could try and make me feel better about something I didn't want to feel better about.

"Are you sure you're up for it? You just woke up. The doctor hasn't even seen you yet, and you just got some pretty devastating news." Kyle fretted.

"I'm sure. I need to know. How am I ever going to get closure if I don't know what happened to me?" I tried to reason with him.

"Baby I don't want to keep it from you forever. I'm just worried about overloading you with too much too quickly. Can't it wait until you're out of the hospital?" He pleaded with me.

"Am I healed?" I asked, I certainly felt it.

"Well yeah, we think. Doctors got an iv in to keep your fluids up but all your sores have healed. You have started to put some weight back on, your skin is a normal colour again. Duke has been able to sense Sapphire getting stronger." He explained relieved to think I had dropped the topic.

"How long have I been out of it," I asked.

"It's been three weeks four days and 7 hours since we rescued you and you have been unconscious the entire time." I was surprised by how specific his answer was.

"Have you been counting the minutes?" I tease.

"No, just the hours." He replied very seriously.

"Why so long?" I knew I was in bad shape but as a werewolf, I should have healed a lot faster than that. I shouldn't have needed more than a week tops for my injuries to heal. Getting my physical strengths back was going to take training tho.

"Well, you didn't have sapphire to heal you. Thanks to the constant exposure to silver she was in worse shape than you were when we found you. Duke and I weren't convinced she was going to make it at first. Plus I think she did her best to absorb as much of the abuse you endured for as long as she could." Kyle explained. I could sense his gratitude for Sapphire. I was so proud of her.

It made sense then that it took so long for me to heal. Without sapphire, I was almost human and my healing would have slowed dramatically.

"So I'm healthy?" I reiterate.

"Yeah?" he said unsure. I think he must be starting to get the sense I was up to something.

"Okay so tell me everything. I'm not going to keel over and die and as I said. I need to know what happened so I can try and make sense of it." I said stubbornly.

"There is nothing to make sense of." he sighed.

"A senseless thing happened to you because of a man's past mistakes and my current ones." it pained me to hear that Kyle blamed himself for what happened to me. "That's funny," I said blandly.

"There is nothing funny about any of this." He said annoyed with me for saying that.

"It's just you think you're to blame? It's just funny to me, or I should say strange, stupid, idiotic maybe? Because I don't remember you kidnapping me. If I recall it was Declan who dumped me in a dark hole and cuffed my wrists with silver. It was Connor and Declan who would visit and only talk about themselves. It was those pricks I remember coming into my cell and leaving without so much as giving me the decency of a bucket to do my personal business in. And it was them who kept me, cold, alone, hungry and surrounded in nothing. It was pitch black all the time. Not once. Not once do I remember you coming in and leaving again without providing food, water, light or any comfort of any sort." I tried hard to keep it together. I don't want Kyle to know how bad it was down there, not when he already blamed himself. I just wanted him to know that it wasn't him I held responsible for what I went through.

"I didn't stop them from taking you, and then I couldn't find you. I will never forgive myself for that." Kyle replied emphatically.

How was I ever going to get him to let this go?

I took my head out of his large chest and tilted my head up. He pulled back ever so slightly and tilted his down just a bit so that we were looking deep into each other eyes and with every bit of my heart and soul and then some I told him

"I forgive you." even if I couldn't stop him from blaming himself. I could let him know that I didn't.

"I love you, Kyle Vasey, with all that I am."

I placed a hand on his face.

"You know what I missed the most while I was gone?" I asked him.

"What?" he croaked.

"All the chances I could have had to kiss you." I stared at his lips longingly.

Without hesitation, he crashed his lips to mine. The kiss was long and deep and full of all the things we couldn't say but had been trying to. When we eventually pulled apart I was breathless.

"I never want to go another day, where I can't kiss you." I declared.

"I never want to go another day without your smile. I missed the way you looked at me so much while you were gone. I took that smile for granted and I never will again." He promised.

I pulled him in for one more kiss.

"Now will you tell me everything?" I asked.

"you're just not going to let it go, are you? He chuckled.

"No," I said in all seriousness. I didn't feel like I could.

"Alright. Well, Declan came to me the day before we rescued you. When he helped Ingrid kidnap you he thought it was his chance to get you back. She would take you from me, and then he would take you from her. But once he realised Ingrid's intention was to kill you and he still hadn't figured out a way to free you from her, he came to me for help.

I was en route to rescue you when you took a turn for the worst and Declan decided to hell with it and sprung you out. Ingrid wasn't there so he had a shot. It was a good thing he did too.

I was able to keep in contact with Declan with the help of burner phones and he kept me updated on your whereabouts.

There was a small, I mean surprisingly so, fight in the woods. Declan killed Ingrid. Connor killed Jackson."

"I'm sorry what?" I interrupted him.

I didn't feel any remorse for his loss but it did come as a surprise.

"Yeah. Jackson's dead. Connor used his powers to snap his neck." Kyle said.

"Wow" was all I could say. "Did anyone else die?" I asked afraid to hear the answer.

"We did regretfully lose one of our warriors. His name was Cameron and he was a good man. He will be missed" Kyle said with genuine sadness. I would have to remember to thank his family personally.

"We held a funeral for him the day after we got back. It was the only time I have left your side."

"What else happened?" I asked knowing there had to be more.

"Declan got all noble all of a sudden and was determined to save you even if it mean Connor killed him too. Sadly it didn't come to that. Anyway, I found you. You were barely conscious You said to me and I will never forget it. I knew you would come and then passed out. We got you back on the plane, to avoid more fighting like a dumbass I agreed to take you to Crescent Moon first. Some drama went down there but all I know is what the others told me. I was too busy taking care of you to worry about any of that." he said dismissively.

"And what did the others tell you happened?" I prodded him. Something told me he didn't want me to know exactly what happened at crescent moon, but that only and me more determined to find out.

"Samantha and Connor we're actually mates. But he and rightfully so was pissed that she went and banged his brother to boost her position in the pack and so he rejected her. Then in front of everyone made her quite horrifically and forcibly accept the rejection. Once she accepted, Connor turned her rogue. No one knows where she is now. I asked James if he would take her but he didn't want to risk taking in someone who could cause him trouble and I didn't force the issue. I owe Samantha no favours after all. As for Declan, he has also gone rogue, the same thing. No one has heard from him. Connor is now Alpha of crescent moon and is from what I have heard working on a relationship with his mom, but it's been very touch and go. She has been moved out of the Alpha suite, Connor wanted to turn her rogue from what I heard but settled on just demoting her status to an Omega." Kyle summarized.

"So everyone but Connor got what they deserved," I was the only good thing to come of all this. Still, I wish Connor didn't get off scot-free.

It doesn't change what I lost, and I would have anything to have my baby back, but they didn't get away with it and that was something at least.

"I don't know. I don't trust Connor and I think he's got more power than one person should have but in his own way, he is a victim too. It didn't give him a right to hurt you and I still want justice but I get why he did all the rest of it. He endured Ingrid and the loss of his family for eighteen long years. It's no wonder he is a nut case." Kyle had a point I guess, still, I wasn't about to excuse him for the way he treated me.

"And David?" he was the only person Kyle hadn't mentioned yet. I hope he was doing okay considering his mate died. I can't say that I'm sorry that she is dead. But I am sorry for how David must be feeling.

"He's forgotten about it already." Kyle smiled secretly.

"What?" I said. I felt confused. there was just no way that someone would get over something like that, that quickly. He was bending over backwards to be with her. He wouldn't just forget her.

"That is not my news." he side-eyed me.

"Why are you being so cryptic?" I asked feeling confused.

"You will just have to wait and see." Kyle shrugged.

I knew he was going to give this one up.

"I wish I knew I was pregnant before we left. I never would have gone to crescent moon if I had known I was pregnant. Whatever show I was so desperate to put on wouldn't have been worth it any more to me." I said sorrowfully.

I'm sorry Faith. I should have paid closer attention. Sapphire whined. I could feel her pain and it ran as deep as my own.

I don't blame you either. I said honestly. I know Sapphire would never have done anything to harm our pup.

"When you were unconscious we had to remove the baby. I didn't want to, I wanted you to make those decisions but we didn't know when you were going to wake up and without Sapphire, it was making you sick. So we had to take the baby out. You were still very early on so there wasn't much to keep. But I took what I could turned it to ash, and put it in a bracelet for you to keep. I also had the doctor take a photo of your ultrasound. I have them both in a small keepsake box back at the house waiting for you when you're ready." Kyle stroked my hair as he spoke.

"You did?" I gasped. It wasn't that Kyle was so thoughtful that shocked me. He had a pure heart. But I was amazed that with everything going on he made that much of an effort. Thanks to him I have a photo and a bracelet to hold onto now. "Can you bring it next time you visit?" I asked already desperate to see it.

"I'm not leaving your side. I can have someone bring it to the hospital or we can see it when we get home." Kyle said flatly and I knew he was serious.

I didn't want anyone else to touch it.

"I'll wait till we're home then," I said with sadness.

I rolled over and climbed atop of him so that I was straddling him and then laid my head on his chest and cuddled him. I was so lucky to have such a man. His arms wrapped around me and he continued to place frequent gentle kisses on my forehead. I breathed in his heavenly scent until I fell asleep in his arms. Who knew I could still feel so tired after sleeping for more than three weeks but his comfort was all I needed and I was out of it.