Darn Stupid Brother You Are

(Angel's POV)

The thought of Thomas rejecting Ava hadn't left my mind since Hande told me. Ava-the one who always had every guy wrapped around her finger-got turned down. It didn't make sense. And now, every time I looked at Thomas, this heaviness settled in my chest. I didn't know if it was relief or excitement or fear. Maybe it was all of them. And then there was Hendrix. The way his eyes followed me lately was impossible to ignore, like he was waiting for something, always watching.

Today's group therapy session didn't help my jumbled thoughts either. The room was packed as usual with everyone spread out in a circle. Dr. Joe sat in the middle with a clipboard in hand and his eyes flickering between us, studying our expressions like we were some kind of project.

"Today," Dr. Joe began, his voice cutting through the murmurs, "we're going to talk about fear. What are we most afraid of and why?"

A murmur of unease spread through the room. Nobody wanted to go first as always.

Cylan cleared her throat and said, "I guess I'm scared of never being accepted, like truly accepted for who I am." Her eyes darted to the floor, and there was a vulnerability there that made my heart ache.

Hande nodded beside her. "I get that. For me, it's being forgotten. Like I never mattered, you know?"

The room fell silent again as everyone absorbed Hande's words. I felt the weight of them too. Being forgotten. Yeah, that was terrifying.

Thomas shifted beside me and his leg brushed against mine. I glanced at him, and our eyes met. That same electric jolt surged through me and made my skin tingle. He offered a small, almost shy smile, and I felt my pulse quicken.

I looked away quickly but not quickly enough. Hendrix was watching and I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my face. The air between us was thick with something I didn't know how to name.

I wondered why he was present in this group session because he normally wasn't. I wondered.

"Angel," Dr. Joe called out and snapped me back to reality. "What about you?"

I swallowed hard, feeling everyone's eyes on me. "Uh... I guess I'm scared of letting people down." My voice was barely above a whisper. "Of not being enough."

Dr. Joe nodded like he understood but I could see it in his eyes, that curiosity, that need to dig deeper. "And who are you most afraid of letting down?"

I hesitated. "Myself," I said finally. "I'm afraid of letting myself down."

"Why?" Dr. Joe pressed and leaned forward.

I felt the words tangling in my throat but somehow I forced them out. "Because... I've always felt like I'm living for other people, like my worth is tied to what they think of me. And if I let them down, then I guess I let myself down too." There was a pause, and I could feel everyone staring at me, heavily and expectantly. But it was Thomas's gaze that I felt the most. It was like he could see right through me, see every fear and every doubt and every insecurity. And he didn't look away.

Dr. Joe moved on, asking others about their fears, but I barely heard them. I was too focused on the way Thomas's knee kept brushing against mine and the way Hendrix's eyes never left my face.

The session ended and people started filtering out of the room. I stood up, ready to leave, when Thomas touched my arm. "Hey," he said softly, his voice barely audible over the chatter. "You okay?"

I nodded but I couldn't bring myself to speak. My throat felt tight and my heart pounded against my ribs. He didn't let go of my arm. His fingers were warm against my skin, and for a second, I thought he might lean in and say something

more.

But then Hendrix appeared. He stepped between us with his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched so tight I thought his teeth might shatter. "We need to talk," he growled and grabbed my wrist and pulled me away before I could protest. "What the hell, Hendrix?" I yanked my arm free once we were alone in one of the empty therapy rooms. "You can't just drag me around like that."

His eyes blazed. "What were you doing with him?"

"Who?" I asked even though I knew exactly who he meant.

"Thomas," he spat the name like it was poison. "What were you doing, Angel?"

"We were just talking," I said and tried to keep my voice steady. But my heart raced and I knew he could hear it. "Why do you even care?" And I asked this question for like the 90th time.

"Why do I care?" he repeated and his voice dropped, softer and almost vulnerable. He took a step closer but there was no aggression in his movements, just this desperate, aching need to understand. "Because... you're my sister, Angel." He said it as if he was begging, as if he was trying to convince himself more than me. "I know that," I whispered even though everything inside me screamed otherwise.

He swallowed hard, his gaze flickering to the floor before he met mine again. "But it's not that simple anymore, is it?" There was this sadness in his eyes, this longing that made my chest tighten. "It's just... I see the way he looks at you, and it's killing me."

"What about Ava?" I shot back and my voice trembled. "You can't act like this doesn't matter when you've been with her."

He winced and his shoulders sagged. "Ava is... it's complicated. But she's not you, Angel. She's never been you." His hand reached up, hesitated, then fell back to his side. "I just-I don't know how to feel when I see you with him." Tears welled up in my eyes but I fought them back. "You can't decide what I do, Hendrix. You can't keep looking out for me like I'm some little girl. Besides, that's my job and what I do for you."

He let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair and for a moment, he looked so lost. "I'm not trying to control you. I'm just... scared, okay? Scared that I'm going to lose you to him. That you'll look at him the way I want you to look at me."

We stood there, the silence pressing down on us and making it hard to breathe. I didn't know what to say. What could I say?

But then, the door creaked open, and there was Thomas with his expression unreadable as he took in the scene. "Am I interrupting something?"

Hendrix stepped back and shook his head like he was trying to clear it. "No, nothing. Just... forget it."

"I wanted to talk to Angel," Thomas said, not backing down. "But if it's not a good time—"

"Do whatever you want," Hendrix muttered and his voice barely rose above a whisper, and for a second, I saw it-the fear, the uncertainty, and the way he was holding himself together by a thread. "Hendrix..." I started but he just gave me this tired and broken smile.

"Just... take care of her, alright?" He didn't wait for an answer and brushed past Thomas and out of the room without another word.

I stared after him, my heart aching, but before I could process it, Thomas stepped closer. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"I... I don't know," I admitted as the tears finally spilled over. "I don't know what's happening anymore."

"You don't have to figure it all out now," he said and his hand brushed against mine. "Just.... let me be here for you. That's all I want."

I looked up at him and for the first time, I didn't feel torn between them. I just felt... lost. And worst of all, I didn't know what was okay anymore.