Bubble Gum Kisses

**Kapittel 53** ***Vanessa***

**"Because my mom gave it to me!"** I blurted out. It was the truth. My mom gifted me my school shoes to celebrate my entry into this academy. My mother was an underpaid nurse who always came home late with a tired face, hair messy, and eyes red and swelling. The hospital she worked at was not only understaffed but also exploited their workers for having no other place to go.

That was one of the most crucial reasons why I valued everything she gave me. She didn't have to do it, but she made her way to give me these shoes I was wearing with the money she earned from the sweat on her brow and drop of her blood while chasing sleep. A privileged boy like Friso would never understand the sentimental values of basic objects. It may just be shoes to him, but they weren't to me. They were my Mom's blood, sweat, and tears.

"Just because they aren't yours doesn't mean that you shouldn't take care of them. You should treat it like your own," I muttered under a rugged breath, my voice barely coming out of my throat. I could try and prevent my voice from getting thick, but I might not restrain myself from crying. The last thing I wanted right now was to cause a ruckus and show my weakness.

"It's just a teddy bear and those were just shoes. It's instrumentally valuable. It's a means and not an end," he replied, pulling me out of my reverie. Right, I should keep up with this. I shouldn't let myself get carried away. I didn't know why he was suddenly mentioning my shoes if it was either for the play or because he wanted to find out why it ticked me off when he soaked my shoes in the water back in community service, I was giving him my answer.

"Maybe to you, it's just an object for instrumental uses like for a cuddle when I sleep or when my feet are bare. But some things are intrinsically valuable for others." I retorted.

"You mean like humans who are ends of themselves? They're just objects who are created for a purpose, and that is to use them. We don't need to value them like your pet or friend." His cockiness began to emerge. He looked at the teddy bear, then at me. I didn't know if he was feeling his acting or he was acting based on his feelings, but we shouldn't go this far after this. Most of the important words were already mentioned.

"My mom gave it to me as a gift. The same goes for my shoes! She didn't have to use the money she had been earning to give me these, but she still did. These things that you deem to be valueless because they're made to be used are bought out of my mom's love for me," I answered him, tightening my grip on the teddy bear. "Of course, it's special to me like how a human would value- no, this may even be more of my value. So no other replacement or substitute can replace them!"

Something glinted in his eyes for a brief moment. "They'll grow old, they'll get worn out. That's why they're instrumental!" he suddenly took a step forward, tugging me closer to him. His jaw clenching, his eyes boring at me menacingly. "They are not worth the sentiment if they are temporary. A waste of feelings."

It looked like he had been carried away far longer than I had. I needed to de-escalate this smoothly so we could proceed. I couldn't let him have our personal business interfere with this performance. Or was he doing this on purpose? "Fri- Drew, That's where you're wrong. To be loved is to be changed," I said in a softer tone, hoping that I could lead him to end this part. "Of course, they would grow old and get worn out. And that doesn't change how I feel about them." "So that means you'll value your pens even when they already ran out of ink? Will you still keep your bag when it had holes in it?" he then questioned in a reproaching tone. As if he was asking me if I was absurd. "It's foolish that you're keeping things near that aren't useful anymore."

"That's not what I mean. This teddy is just ne-" Ugh. I give up. This felt like talking to a wall. "How about me? I'll get old and crusty, grow wrinkles, and have weak knees. Would your idealogy apply to me too?" I looked at him as if imploring him to understand. "Won't that mean that you're also treating me as a means to an end? I'm an object to you too?" I added.

"That's different, you're a person."

"But that can happen to an object too. It can be both instrumentally and intrinsically valuable like education and art," I replied. It was time to end this. "I don't know. It's maybe in your morals that things and dispensable and can be easily compensated by a new or a better version. But that's not the case for me. We're not the same." I yanked my hand away from him.

"Van..." he called for me, his eyes begging me.

For an unknown reason, his gaze tugged at my heartstrings, causing a pang in my chest. "Let's not see each for some time," I said and finally turned away, leaving the platform.

Jersey took their cue and began to guide Friso into the climax, pulling two chairs with them to sit. I ran to the back to make an entrance for the final part. "Listen, son. You need to apologize to your friend. You hurt her feelings." They patted his back.

"Over a thing?" he scoffed. "Why does she like them so much? More than me?"

"Let's put it this way..." they suddenly heaved a sigh. They parted their legs, resting their palms together below their stomach. It was giving Southern-dad-on-a-nap chair vibes. "Why do you value your friendship with Vanessa?" "She means a lot to me. She makes me happy..." he trailed off, and the small squeals came their way again. I felt my face start heating up at his words. "Seeing her face never failed to make me happy. It always makes me feel like I could fly even when I don't have wings." Those lines were just part of the play, Vanessa. Don't be affected!

"But you have no use for it, son. So why would you keep being with her and be happy?" Jersey later inquired, piquing my interest.

"I... I don't know," he trailed off, followed by a small cheer from the crowd. "All I know is I wanted her by my side. Always by my side." Why was it suddenly so hot? It was uneasy. These sudden palpitations too, it was making me feel worse. Gosh, don't tell me I was gushing over lines said in a play?!

"That's because you want to be happy for the sake of being happy. You want her by her side because you want it. Some things are valuable for their own sake." Jersey patted his back. "Other people's things may only be things to you, but to the owners, there are feelings contained in those objects. Maybe it reminds them of certain happiness or... love. To some, it's what keeps them alive. In Vanessa's case, her mom gave it to her. The teddy is valuable itself for her mother's sake," they asked and he nodded.

"Her mother gives her happiness, it's inherent that she will value the things her mother gave her since it'd give her the same level of happiness too," they continued and rose from their seat. "Now, go and apologize." "And so..." Alexie recited, and I hurriedly went back to the stand.

Friso remained on his spot, except that he was no longer sitting and the chair was gone. I treaded in small footsteps as he watched me approach. But it seemed that he was getting impatient that he walked over in wide steps.

I acted like a child on tantrums, embracing the teddy bear, looking in the other direction, and pouting.

"I'm sorry," I heard him say in a small voice.

"Hmph, for what?" I feigned ignorance in a pouty voice.

"I'm sorry for the teddy bear." I almost gasped when I felt his warm hand envelop mine. I turned to look at our hands, it looked like a whale casing a worm. This was getting way over the ad-libs, I swear. "And the shoes too," he added. His eyes had never looked so clear with sincerity.

I gulped down the unknown stuck in my throat. "It's okay," I replied.

"Wooh!"

"Bravo! Bravo!"

"That was great!"

Dopamine surged into my system at the thundering applause echoing in the classroom. I looked at my classmates clapping their hands with smiles on their faces. All the butterflies circulating in my stomach and the chains in my chest had finally dissipated.

"Impressive. Comedic factor, philosophical factor, dialogue, I didn't expect that things would go deep enough that you have a wonderful allegory about Ethics and the values of objects. It seems that it got a bit too emotional too." Mrs. Birmingham complimented. I didn't know that she was clapping as well.

Finally, it was over. It was a nerve-wracking performance. I never wanted to do this again. At this point, I was glad since we got to impress Mrs. Birmingham. It was like finding a needle in a haystack. God, what worse could happen today? "de Vries, you will be grouping with Hatherne and Revel."

** **

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